I’m sure it’s different for each father to be but I’m often curious about when the connection to little unborn tiny baby starts for the proud papa. In my current experience, I feel like I have this connection but I can’t imagine it’s anything like what Annie is feeling and experiencing.
When I first saw fingers and toes in an unltrasound picture that made the whole thing feel real to me and since Annie has started showing I know it’s because there’s a real baby growing in there…not from all the Twinkies and Doritos tacos from Taco Bell that she’s been eating (kidding…Annie eats WAY healthy). But for Annie she already has the physical feelings and hormonal changes that allow her to start having real connections with Little Browne…she’s already feeding this baby, protecting it, carrying it, and feeling it swim around in there; but I don’t have those things.
Jealous Father Much?
To be completely truthful I’m not jealous at all, Annie and I are going through this experience together but we’re having two completely different experiences. I talk to the baby from time to time although it still seems weird…not really sure what to talk about. I mean, do I try to get him to understand why I am a Dodger and Giants fan? Do I explain that Joe Montana is the best quarterback of all time? Do I encourage his quick rise to a position of wealth so I can retire? I’m not sure.
So as the days and weeks tick by I wait patiently out here for this little guy to finish building himself with mom’s help. I’m okay with waiting for a real connection to this baby…since I have to wait in line there’s nobody I’d rather wait in line behind than Annie. Even with all the added “high risk” crap (I almost feel like it’s tattooed on our foreheads) she’s been amazing…working out 4 days a week, eating healthy, playing music for the baby and explaining to him why she thinks Led Zeppelin is the greatest band of all time, holding her belly to let him know that she’s right outside, and working to maintain a stress-free zone.
I know it sounds dumb…and obvious, but I’m glad Annie and Little Browne are together 24/7. It comforts me to know that they have each other and they’re doing their thing…so no, I’m not jealous…I’m in awe of watching this develop and seeing Annie change both physically and mentally. My connection will come in due time…it’s not always about me even though I wish it could be. So for now I will be patient and let the two of them build that bond and do whatever I can to nurture it…but Little Browne will like the Dodgers too, even though Annie doesn’t.
- We’re Pregnant, We Miscarried, We’re Pregnant (littlebrowne.com)